Chasing After God's Own Heart

I host/facilitate a women’s coffee shop Bible study on Wednesday mornings. We are currently in the Psalms … Psalm 51 this week, to be exact. With a great number of the Psalms being written by David, I find we make quite a few references to his sin with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband, Uriah, yet David is still called, a man after God’s own heart. (Acts 13:22)

In my study and preparation for chapter 51, a few verses have jumped off the pages and brought to mind something I want to share. Before we dive in, I want to give a little context in case you don’t know the particular story of David and Bathsheba that I mentioned. (2 Sam 11-12) David, being King David, sent his men off for war but he stayed behind for reasons not mentioned. This placed David in a position to protect the people while their men were away, but one particular woman caught David’s eye and he had her brought to him, taking advantage of his authority and her vulnerability then sent her home. Later, when she informs him that she’s pregnant, he sends for her husband to be brought back to war to be with his wife, but when Uriah refuses to go to the comfort of his home while his fellow men are at war, David sends him to the front lines where he is killed. Once this is confirmed, David makes Bathsheba his wife. The Lord was very displeased with David’s actions so He sends a prophet with a clever approach to reveal his sins and convict his heart.

This is where the words jumped out at me, as I was considering that we have two options when conviction comes… we can own it, call it out by name, repent and turn away, OR we can deny it, squash it, silence it and allow the enemy a foothold that keeps our hearts in the dark.

What did David do?

He saw his sin as God did and it struck him to his very core. David cried out, Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy, blot out my transgressions. He realized this offense was standing between he and God, that just his sorrow and God’s mercy weren’t enough. He asked that God would blot it out of his record, wash it away so that it would leave no stain on his character, and declare him as clean.

When we refuse to accept conviction, when we fail to understand that “feeling sorry” isn’t enough, when we live any way we choose claiming God’s mercy and grace is all we need, we fail to see how our sin stands between us and God. While His grace is sufficient for our salvation, to chase after the heart of God, we must acknowledge and turn from those things in our life which displease him.

Once upon a time, I was a wretch. My life had little going on that I needed “saved” from and I often said as much to a friend who tried to share Jesus with me. I was a good kid, loved, provided for, and overall doing just fine. But then the world came a knocking and I stepped over the ledge into a life of sin completely unaware of the depths of my depravity. I don’t say this in a shameful kind of way, I say it matter-of-factly. I never killed anyone, and never stole, but outside of those there’s not much you can tell me about your sin struggles that will surprise me, or I can’t identify with, a least a little bit. I was a wretch but God saved me. His grace was sufficient for that. But conviction also came and I began to see my life and my sin as God did and it hurt. Man. That’s not how I was raised, that’s not who I was, or wanted to be, but it was ways in which I found myself walking and now I was at a place where I either had to come face to face with it and hand it over to God, or act like I wasn’t really that bad.

I’m thankful I chose to turn it over because I can say without a shadow of a doubt, and with complete thankfulness, that God took all of those temptations from me almost immediately.

God has been working my salvation in me for years now. I was 18 when God first called my heart. I accepted Him, but then spent the next 12 years running in the opposite direction. I was 30 when He revealed to me how displeased He was with the way I was choosing to live and called me to Himself once again. Initially, I acknowledged, owned, and turned from living that way, but then began the work of growing in relationship with Him. He doesn’t just want us for a single life-changing conversation, but for a daily relationship, daily growing close to Him, studying, knowing, and being transformed by His Word.

He wants all of our hearts, willingly coming to Him. He’s working our salvation out in our lives for our good, and His glory.

So, what exactly is it I’m trying to share? Presupposing you are a born-again believer: If you have, or are, experiencing conviction (NOT condemnation- there’s a difference- one comes for the Lord, the other from the enemy) but not fully repented, allow the Lord to break your heart over what breaks His. It’s the only way to truly walk in the freedom of your salvation!

I want you to know and experience the freedom, and power of the gospel! To know that, yes, it is the power of the gospel that saves, but it is also the same power that we walk in daily when we accept Christ and have the Holy Spirit guiding us. I want you to know the word of God, to hide it in your heart, and to know the power to transform your life that’s held within the scriptures!

David wasn’t perfect. He sinned in a way that grieved the Lord’s heart. He received and accepted the conviction the Lord sent. He repented. He accepted and walked in the Lord’s forgiveness.

We can do the same.

I hope you will seek God’s face and chase after His heart. I hope you can own where you’ve been and walk in the freedom of the Lord now.

~Jules