National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month and Saturday, November 23, 2019, is National Adoption Day. 

When we adopted Timothy and Mason in 2011, we celebrated that day for four years, naming it ‘Akinpalooza’. Four years later we had another adoption date to celebrate when we adopted Sophia, so we dropped the name and just celebrated our family twice each year. Now, another four years later, we have a third date to celebrate after finalizing Logan’s adoption into our family this summer, so we have made the decision to celebrate our family, uniquely brought together by God, one time each year on November 23rd. 

Before the fall of man in the garden of Eden, there was no separation between God and man. But after the fall, when Adam and Eve were separated from God, (generations later) He provided a way back to Him through acceptance of His Son, Jesus, and for us to be adopted as sons and daughters into His family. 

Similarly, a child born into a broken situation, who is separated from his or her birth family, can be brought into a new family through the process of adoption. 

God gave us the perfect example and has called us to care for orphans (James 1:27). 

Adoption is a funny thing. For a family unable to have biological children, it is a gift, as it is for the child abandoned in an overcrowded orphanage in an underdeveloped country. However, it is a tragedy for the birth family fighting a losing battle to addiction, or simply unable to provide for another mouth. It is beautiful for the family who bonds together, and difficult for the family who doesn’t.

I would love to tell you adoption is seamless and all you need is love, but that’s not always the case. You can love the child, but you can’t ‘love out’ the results of drugs and alcohol, abuse, neglect, fear and pain. These things rewire a child’s developing brain and sometimes the effects will last a lifetime. 

I would love to tell you you will never have to deal with questions about birth families, but that’s not likely going to happen. It’s natural to want to know ‘where you came from’, and healthy to share what you know in an age appropriate timeline. But even then, what is age appropriate when dealing with death? Dear friends are currently walking through questions and sadness and confusion and grief with their children whose birth mother just passed this week. Although they never lived with her, she gave them life, so there is tragedy even in God’s provision. 

I would love to tell you, you can easily adopt only one time, but the truth is, even for those who do stop after one, once your eyes are open to the world of children in need of a home, of family and all that implies, it’s hard to  close your door. “You can’t take them all,” people will say. No, but we can say ‘yes’ until God leads us otherwise. 

Our five

What I can tell you, with all certainty, adoption will change you. It will grow and stretch you, deepen your love, your faith and your patience, and it will fill your heart with a greater understanding of God’s love for you. 

People will say: don’t call it a gift because it’s not God’s plan that someone is always left hurting. But we say: God knew our story would intersect long before we were born, so when that happens we will count it all joy and will continue to pray for those broken through each of our adoptions. We want our children to know, their life was no accident. Their future was not left to fate, or chance. God made us for each other. You cannot convince us otherwise. And we will always make sure our children know that. 

In Him,

~Jules